Loss

I have gone from being MIA on my various blogs to posting non stop, I think because if I have to think about what I am writing, even if it is about him, it keeps me from dwelling too long on the hard stuff.

I started this here blog in an attempt to accomplish some goals, long term, short term, simple, hard, just accomplish them. With my hubby passing I decided I need to simplify a little more and make the goal to take one day at a time... which is all I can do right. It is when I think "how am I going to raise these kids on my own?" I kinda break down. I know I have some great support, and lots of it, but kids NEED their dad. So I am taking each day one step at a time...

Today I am going to get through shopping for my funeral clothes, dressing my husband, and gathering anything I need to have there at the funeral. I am going to be strong for the kids, but let them know I am hurting too. I have luckily found I can tell when he is near... I have an odd warmth about me, and even though I feel the tears right on the edge of falling... they never do. It is when they fall he is helping someone else cope.

Day 79... 1 day at a time... for now just cope.