This month on face book, several of my friends have been posting what the are grateful for each day. My first thoughts on this is that I need to be more grateful, and what a good goal. Then I lost my love, and these just annoyed me... how could I be grateful for anything when I have lost my everything. They would just irritate me more and more each time I saw them. I think because I am so full of other emotions the idea of gratitude is the furthest thing I want to feel.
After a day of shutting everyone out, I realized I don't have to do this on my own, even though that is what is in my nature to do. I came to my dad and sister's house to help prepare for the big dinner tomorrow (which is hard enough already since it was always Kris doing the preparing) I fell asleep early from exhaustion and ended up staying the night. My sleep habits have been so out of whack I was up early and couldn't sleep any more.
I realized it was Thanksgiving, and was sad at first... Then I realized how Grateful I am that I had 16 years with him... I long so much to have had more but at least I had the great fortune to have had him, for that I will be eternally grateful.
day 82... thanks
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Okay, don't read my most recent blog post. It will seriously annoy you. I really don't want you annoyed with me right now. Love you.
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