One thing I learned early on in being a widow... I can't do it alone, I need to ask for help. This was not an easy thing to learn, as I am someone who is very independent. I hate acknowledging I can't do something on my own. But looking at my list of goals and to do lists I have realized I am to that point where I need help. So this blog post is my in direct way of asking friends and family who see this post for help.
My house... I need help cleaning and organizing. Sure I have kids who help, and they do. But it is like pulling teeth to get them to do the basics, and I am to the point I need to sort through some of the boxes that are piled in my basement from other moves. And as for myself, I need motivation to do it, someone offering to help might be just that.
My cars... my dad has offered as well as my brother and cousin... my problem is I need a car NOW and I am to the point where both my cars are slowing falling apart, I get one working to be a back up while the other is fixed, and before it can be fixed the back up is slipping again.
Weight/exercise... I have really been good about exercise, I have been taking dance classes each week the last couple weeks... but I need someone who encourages me to eat right. I am not good at fixing and planning dinners so far too often it turns into takeout... which is not healthy nor cheap. There was a point in my married life I was good at this... I just need to get back to that point. But someone to help encourage me would be awesome...
Budget... someone who is good with budgeting should sit with me and help me make a reasonable one. I am too impulsive.
Kids schedules... This next year with the girls going to a charter school I will need help with carpools, as well as a couple days of help with Clay and Bren... (Or help getting the older two to hurry and get their licenses... I tried to put it in their hands, thinking it would motivate them, but it hasn't. When I bring it up they get annoyed... I haven't minded too much because it would increase insurance, and my whole car situation)
Lastly help getting myself out... I know part of this falls on me, but I find myself spending far too much time online, in front of the TV, or in bed. I have been good and taken my anti depressants.. but I think it is more than simply depression, it is grieving as well. I miss the social me who got out with friends regularly, who went to dinner groups, etc.
Also if there is anything else you see I may need help with but neglected to ask... just ask, or step up and do it.
Help, Thanks... day 128
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
I am back!!!
So last time I wrote on here I saw little reason for so many blogs... but shortly after regretted it, and undeleted them... I like having my blogs and views on life a little divided. SO here is the quick run down of how they are divided...
1- Allison and family, in which I tell about the goings on of myself and the kids... it is private so you must request to see it... I want to keep my kids safe.
2- Here I GO Again (this one), in which I discuss personal goals I have and my progress on achieving them, or lack of...
3- Purple, this is my most private one, but also my most public... it is where I actually break down about how I am feeling with the loss of my husband. I am the most honest here, and this one gets the most views, mostly from fellow widows, so I feel it helps me to get it out, and it helps others to know they are not alone in their feelings.
4- Allioops, this is one of my favourite, and also most neglected blogs... it is where I post crafty, creative, recipes, organizing tips, etc. I think because when I am on top of my life and can spend time on this part of me, I truly enjoy it... but it is pretty rare.
and finally, 5- It was a dark and stormy night, (worst opening line of a book ever, in fact they hold writing contests based on this line) I have a love hate relationship with this one. It is where I write for fun, my creative endeavors, and hopefully where something published eventually will one day start... but it is also where I save my school work I am proud of, or procrastinate on...
With that recap on to this posts goal...
I want to be better at my blogging/writing... it is very therapeutic for me, and I function better when I do. And I want to be better at all of them... not just a couple... because that will help balance my life as well.
Early on I mentioned how I want to stop biting my nails... I have done AWESOME at that, they are so long and pretty, I am really proud of them actually.
Exercise, and dieting... I have been bad at these, but lately I have found a new desire to better myself. I signed up for a 1/2 marathon in 3 weeks, and I have been going to the gym, I haven't been eating as good as I would like, but I have been better. And next week I am taking some dance classes and that will help a ton.
School, it is going to take a little longer than I originally hoped, but with that I am hoping I can add my endorsement by then as well. Also I have a couple classes I need to finish, and then apply for the teaching program. I have dates, and plans and will get this accomplished.
My kids, I have had the chance to spend some one on one time with each of them, but I need to do it more consistently and with a purpose or plan. I want to make sure they are accomplishing their goals, and know what I need to do to help them.
Budget, I really need to work on this, I find myself short every month trying to make it to next pay day... not a good way to live. But there have been huge accomplishments on this. I have a bank account, which is huge, and my bankruptcy is filed... which means I can start rebuilding my credit as a single woman, which is a little bitter sweet.
Church, I have been better here as well, but I need to keep it up to set an example for the kids, I think I was in too much of a funk for so long, the kids remember that example. I am getting there, but it will take time.
There are many more aspects I am sure I could/need to address, but this is a good start for now. I think if I start breaking them down daily that will help me as well.
Day 127... ready for a fresh start
1- Allison and family, in which I tell about the goings on of myself and the kids... it is private so you must request to see it... I want to keep my kids safe.
2- Here I GO Again (this one), in which I discuss personal goals I have and my progress on achieving them, or lack of...
3- Purple, this is my most private one, but also my most public... it is where I actually break down about how I am feeling with the loss of my husband. I am the most honest here, and this one gets the most views, mostly from fellow widows, so I feel it helps me to get it out, and it helps others to know they are not alone in their feelings.
4- Allioops, this is one of my favourite, and also most neglected blogs... it is where I post crafty, creative, recipes, organizing tips, etc. I think because when I am on top of my life and can spend time on this part of me, I truly enjoy it... but it is pretty rare.
and finally, 5- It was a dark and stormy night, (worst opening line of a book ever, in fact they hold writing contests based on this line) I have a love hate relationship with this one. It is where I write for fun, my creative endeavors, and hopefully where something published eventually will one day start... but it is also where I save my school work I am proud of, or procrastinate on...
With that recap on to this posts goal...
I want to be better at my blogging/writing... it is very therapeutic for me, and I function better when I do. And I want to be better at all of them... not just a couple... because that will help balance my life as well.
Early on I mentioned how I want to stop biting my nails... I have done AWESOME at that, they are so long and pretty, I am really proud of them actually.
Exercise, and dieting... I have been bad at these, but lately I have found a new desire to better myself. I signed up for a 1/2 marathon in 3 weeks, and I have been going to the gym, I haven't been eating as good as I would like, but I have been better. And next week I am taking some dance classes and that will help a ton.
School, it is going to take a little longer than I originally hoped, but with that I am hoping I can add my endorsement by then as well. Also I have a couple classes I need to finish, and then apply for the teaching program. I have dates, and plans and will get this accomplished.
My kids, I have had the chance to spend some one on one time with each of them, but I need to do it more consistently and with a purpose or plan. I want to make sure they are accomplishing their goals, and know what I need to do to help them.
Budget, I really need to work on this, I find myself short every month trying to make it to next pay day... not a good way to live. But there have been huge accomplishments on this. I have a bank account, which is huge, and my bankruptcy is filed... which means I can start rebuilding my credit as a single woman, which is a little bitter sweet.
Church, I have been better here as well, but I need to keep it up to set an example for the kids, I think I was in too much of a funk for so long, the kids remember that example. I am getting there, but it will take time.
There are many more aspects I am sure I could/need to address, but this is a good start for now. I think if I start breaking them down daily that will help me as well.
Day 127... ready for a fresh start
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