Depressed

So most of my close friends know I am prone to depression, especially when I have no where I HAVE to go and nothing I have to do. Now as we approach my vacation from dance and preschool, I can already feel myself slipping into that hole. I am making an appointment now for my happy pill pick me up, and I am trying to plan a party of some sort at my house to give a deadline to have it clean by. My kids are older now and are very self sufficient, so it is easy to justify staying in bed all day when they can take care of themselves. I am not on here for a poor me post. However I finally got out of bed and showered at 1:30 after just laying there in bed for so long.

I hate when I become that person. I even find myself embarrassed by it and try to hide I am slipping by putting on make-up and overdoing the dressing up thing. I think if I don't look like a depressed person I won't be called out on it, because when I am called out on it, I simply break down and cry... and I am a big enough boob already, I don't need to feel like I am showing yet more of my weaknesses.

So on to why I am bothering to post this on here. I need help. I am getting my prescription refilled, but I need to also get out of my house on occasion. Not being able to drive does NOT help that. So friends and loved ones... if you want to get out once in a while and want some company, would you give me a call?

I am just grateful that I can finally recognize when I am slipping, while I can't quite seem to just snap myself out of it when I feel it occurring, I have gotten to where I can see where I start slipping and try to catch myself before I get too deep. This has been going on since I was about 10 years old, so it has taken my a long time to get here, but I am grateful I have gotten to this point. And especially grateful I have friends I can count on to help.

Day 52... Thanks