Dropped...

I finally have admitted it to myself, I have taken on a little too much... so I did it, I dropped a class at school. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are now free, which is just what I have needed a day to myself... except I am not using it like i should, I have spend the last couple of them curled up in bed after I get the kids off to school. I am feeling so overwhelmed with some of my classes... I really wish I could just go and listen and participate for credit... but I need to write the papers that go along with it.

I wish I could drop all this extra weight I have put on since he has been gone... I am the heaviest I have EVER been... even with ALL my pregnancies. I find myself eating late at night, I have no energy for exercising because I can't sleep... or I sleep too much.

I need to clean my house, but can't bring myself to get it done, I have no time nor energy. I get some help from the kids, but they have their things they need to do as well. I figure I have survived the year from hell without him by letting some things go. It is coming up on eleven months and I am an emotional wreck! I feel like I have barely functioned through this year... but I functioned. I need to make this next year better, for all of us.

SO my goal with this post... drop the excuses... and make a commitment to get my house in order before our one year mark. DO it for him... I have never been a good housekeeper, EVER, I would only do it to impress him... unless he asked me then my stubborn streak would kick in and I would not touch a thing until he backed off... I miss him...

Day 120... Drop the excuses!