Old Habits...

Well a few months ago I posted how good I was doing on not biting my nails... well I got into a good book and finished a chapter. I scratched my back and realized I had bit them ALL off. Well I stopped for a few months, I can stop again right? Wish me luck, again.

Day 42... crap

Overworked...

So I was at my third job tonight thinking how unlucky it was that I am off ALL weekend with my two major jobs, but stuck working EVERY night with my bene job(I did however take the last shift to help a friend). Then I got wondering whether or not it is truly worth it. To be away from my family more, to feel like I neglect my house, to always feel tired and overworked, to have NO time for my hobbies and things I like to do to relax. But I love my friends I have made their in the short time, I love knowing I have benefits available to me no matter what... then I get stuck. What other reason is there for me to be working so often? How am I going to even fit it in when I go back to school? So I am really struggling with going to work each day... I am sticking it out for now, and through the summer... but I am not sure it will be worth it past that. So Please give me your opinions if you see this, I am really torn on the subject. (With hubby's job he has health benefits, but not dental, so right now I am working 12 hour minimum weeks for dental benefits)

day 41... torn

Fat, Fat, Fat

So this weekend I weighed myself, (I usually avoid this finding it really depressing), I am the HEAVIEST I have ever been in my life , except maybe the last month of my pregnancies. So I HAVE to do something about this. This post is asking friends and family who read this to ask me how it is going and encourage me to keep up on watching what I eat. and exercising. PLEASE help me. I am getting depressed from this and I am eating my stress instead of exercising to alleviate it. If there is someone who wants to run with me, or would want to join weight watchers with me (It was a little pricing, but it really worked, I lost 20 plus pounds on it, and I felt obligated to follow it because I had to pay... but I have the info if someone wants to follow it with me, we can encourage each other)

So that being said I am going to go clean up and plan on a run... maybe that will help my headaches too!

Day 40... Fatty Me

Love of my Life...

So this is to clear up my little blow up the other night at my significant other. Yes he pissed me off (hurt my feelings) but he at least owned it, said he was ornery and had to go to bed. But he also made up for it last night, took kids fishing so I could go scrapbook with my sister all night! and today after having a "discussion" and realized we are both stressed and neither of us like to have it pointed out when we bring it home... but where else are we suppose to express that I ask?

So I am really making an effort for the rest of this month and next (since it is my busiest time of year) to not bring home the grouchy me and to do my best to be pleasant at home... I think not only will it help my hubby, but my kids too, and of course me right... after all if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy right?

Day 39... be happy

Grouchy...

So when did it get to where I am expected to be smiling and pleasant at every waking moment while I am at home? If I have had a long tiring day do I really have to smile? I swear it is still the new millenium and the early edition Good Housekeeping Mags are a way of the past (i.e. freshen your make-up for your hubby, make sure kids are clean, have dinner waiting for him rub his feet right away, etc.) Why is he allowed to be grouchy after a long day of work, and I am expected to be happy and smile while I do the dishes at 10:00 at night that the kids neglected to do. Why should I have to show a false emotion on my face in the comfort of my own home... If I am feeling grouchy and tired where does he expect me to show it, hidden in the bathroom? I love you honey but if you expect me to be the perky happy teenage girl you feel in love with 15 plus years ago, you are SHIT out of luck! We are married I work my ass off we have 4 tiring kids, and if at the end of the day I want to frown while doing their dishes so be it... if you have a problem with that then I expect the same. No telling me you don't want to talk about your long day, no being short with me because you are tired and I expect a smile on your face the whole time I am explaining why I had a long day.

Day 38... :(

Starting again...

So I think I have finally realized that if I want to accomplish any of my goals, my clean house, losing weight, getting back in shape, getting organized etc. It is going to be like starting fresh everyday. Whether the previous day was good or bad, it is going to be a fresh start each day.

With that in mind I have planned my menu for tomorrow... including snacks so that I can really make a good effort to lose this excess weight I complain about. Also I have packed a workout bag to keep with me so I can walk where I need, which will help lose weight and hopefully get me into shape.

Lastly as I am slowly completing rooms/projects in the house I decided my pathetic little "Helps" on house keeping, and cleaning, and organizing etc. (which really only helped me remember that I have been that way before and CAN get that way again)will be added to this page, as a record of what I accomplish and what works for me... then there may be a reason for friends to read this too, if any of this helps you...

Day 37... tomorrow's a new day (Thank goodness)

I ROCK!

Okay so I started strong again, I went to the gym and ran for 30 min... til hubby came early... then I wanted a slurpee (i even got sugar free) so I walked down to 7-11. yeah go me! So I think I am going to try tomorrow to keep up with the wlak and run, and also I am going to give WW's a another sincere try, after all I know it worked, I ate better and lost weight... so some words of encouragement would be nice... plus lots of fat free... low sugar foods.

day 36... a new start!